By Nicole Burch
The next week was torture. The week between Christmas and New Years always feels like limbo to me. I work in transportation, so several warehouses are closed or running short hours. It just feels like you can’t get anything done, which leaves lots of time to think. That is the last thing that I needed to do during this week. I had done the biopsy and now I was just waiting to find out if it was the big C or not. I tried to patiently wait, but as I’ve said that is not my strong suite. I was able to make myself wait until Friday December 29th, 2017. That was 3 days after the biopsy, so I felt that was a respectable amount of time. I was informed that my doctor’s office was closed for the holidays and would be returning January 2, 2018. I was exasperated. Not only had the anxiety of this situation tainted Christmas now I had to try to not let it ruin my New Years. I just wanted to know something, anything, one way or the other. I was sure I could handle whatever it was. I just hated the not knowing. That did not fit in with my plan.
I spent an uneventful but enjoyable night with my family playing board games and watching movies. We do this every year and really enjoy it. I think I did well at putting my fears and anxiety out of my mind for one night at least. January 1st was spent watching college football of course. I mean I am from the South. What else would you possibly do on January 1st?
The next day it was back to work. I decided that I would wait for the doctor to call me. She knew how anxious I was and would no doubt get me the results as soon as she was able. Around 10:30 I got the call. I answered and the nurse told me that she had my results. It was invasive ductile carcinoma. I paused waiting for her to continue with words that I might possibly understand. I should have understood the word carcinoma, but for some reason my brain was not processing it. Since she didn’t continue, I said, “I’m sorry but I don’t understand medical terms. Do I have cancer or not?” After profusely apologizing, she said “Yes, you do” then continued to apologize.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, but I am usually a crier. I cry at everything. Credit card commercials, songs, dance routines, The Star Spangled Banner, chick flicks, everything. I get that from my mom too. I fully expected to have tears rolling down my face at this point, but nothing. Not a single little salty drop escaped. It was not that I was holding them back. I just had prepared myself for the worst and therefore this was not surprising. I had already had the time I needed to process my feelings on this subject or so I thought.
She made an appointment for me to come in the next day to get a plan of action together with my breast specialist, and apologized again before getting off the phone. I then called my husband, parents, siblings, aunts, a few cousins, and a handful of friends. These people had already been supporting me and praying for me, so I wanted them to hear it from me first. That night I made it Facebook official. Cancer and I were now in a relationship. https://nburch728.wixsite.com/website