By: Tracy Milgram-Posner
If you had more knowledge about certain circumstance you would prepare yourself or even avoid those things before anything happens. I had a mastectomy done 4 years ago, I was extremely happy healthy and working out on a regular basis. During my workouts enjoying something I love I tore my Pec muscle and my nightmare began. At that time I didn’t know I tore my pec muscle so I continued my routine schedule like it was nothing thinking maybe it was just sore. The pain got worse my daily routine that I was used to became harder. I couldn’t do anything active with my children who I have I always been involved with their sports. But, the worse thing is that they saw my pain and I had them worried. What parent wants their children worrying about them when it should be the other way around? I couldn’t bare the pain anymore.
I decided to see my surgeon who originally did my surgery and she was the one who gave me the heads up that I tore my pec muscle. She wanted to go over the muscle to do the revision and I did not want that. I decided to go for another opinion with other plastic surgeons not only in Florida but out of state. Being scared with what can happen I decided to go with another plastic surgeon in Florida, trusting that he would get me what I wanted but most important I wanted the pain to go away.
In April 2019 I had surgery and he repaired my pec muscle and found the other implant was flipped. I was healing and about 3 weeks after my surgery my nightmare got worse the pain was back. I felt worse and I wasn’t happy with the way my breast looked. Even though I had the love and support of my family and friends the pain and the look I had made me feel horrible. I was disgusted with the way I look, I felt I wasn’t a women, I wasn’t whole and the pain definitely crippled my life. It made me so angry everyday was different, mood swings my family didn’t know what to expect of me that day would they see the good side of me or the bad.
When I first got my mastectomy done 4 years ago I didn’t know that doing intense upper body work could rip my muscle knowing that I would of never workout in that manner knowing it could off cause a significant injury and change my life for the worse. I went to see surgeon who, operated on me in April and I wasn’t happy with anything he had to say. My breast look flat, I would call them flat tires and the pain was horrific. I felt insulted when he suggested to add nipples to my breast like that would make anything better. I was disgusted by his response and how he treated me as a patient. My scars tell better stories then tattoos is how I always felt about missing my nipples. In four years I have always felt I will get a tattoos across my scars. My last follow up with him he finally specified what he did in surgery and I would not have projection. My right implant was pushing through the skin prior to surgery and he had to pull skin up so the thinning wouldn’t happen again.
After my appointment with him I felt more loss and hopeless as ever, I was considering going out of state to get the surgery done. Reason being there is one center that specializes in DIEP using your own skin to create breast, but this surgery was 8-10 hours long. Did I want to go out of state, away from family and friends to have this procedure! I decided to stay local.
I met with a couple of doctors here in Florida butt wasn’t confident in the options I had. The doctor who did my original surgery four years ago wouldn’t respond to my calls or messages. I figured since I went with someone else back in April, she didn’t want to deal with me.
September 2019 I decided to seek one last option here, which was a female plastic surgeon. I told her all that has happened to me and she gave me more options that I can even imagine but most important she gave me hope. I walked out of there happy and I had faith she could fix all the issues I was having. I set up surgery for October, which is one month away. During that wait I was nervous, sick to my stomach and still having doubts of the outcome. My family was very supportive and guiding me through the process but again I was the one living the nightmare.
The day of surgery came everything was successful but the implants I had were both flipped upside down. On the right breast she released a nerve that was under the scar tissue of my pec muscle. Immediately after surgery I felt the relief in my pec muscle. Twenty-four hours after surgery I was in her office, bandages came off and I looked into the mirror at my new gorgeous chest I was overwhelmed with tears of happiness. I couldn’t believe the work she had done, I was extremely satisfied and full of joy.
I write this story 4 weeks post op and am healing quit well. That does not mean I am cleared to do any exercise, lifting, house work or anything that can extend my recovery time longer than it needs to be.
The last four years of previvor life has taught me to do my research, follow the recovery guidelines, ask for help, and know all your options to a full extremity.
“My BRCA2gene started the fight but I am going to finish in.”