Soul on Fire

Finding the confidence to do this boudoir shoot was challenging. This was the most challenging experience of my life and totally outside the box to do this boudoir shoot. I’m barely getting used to my new body and feeling 100 percent in it. However, throughout the photo shoot with each picture taken I could feel my confidence growing. The words that highlighted my journey were written throughout my body (inspire, courage, BRCASTRONG, two amazing kids, thrive, and a lot more!)

Having the words written on my naked body let me display all the things that made me who I am today. The pink boxing gloves exemplified my struggle and strength in being a Previvor. I was able to kick cancer’s butt! Although it was a difficult decision to remove healthy body parts, it had to be done to secure my health to be there for my two children and for my future. From time to time, I have to remind myself that I’m no different than the person I was before my surgery. I’m not any less feminine because I have scars and no nips. If anything, I am a stronger woman because I made such a tough decision! These are my battle wounds and I am proud to show everyone what a pink warrior’s body looks like.

Throughout the shoot, I thought of all the other women who feel like how I do—doubting their femininity because they no longer have their healthy body parts. But I want to remind you all that these “imperfections” show our strength and how we are fighters! Empowered women empower women.

The most powerful weapon on Earth is the human soul on fire. Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. My story can be written to inspire and empower women to move forward and accept their changes emotionally, mentally, and physically. I want women to love their new bodies and be comfortable in their own skin. Know that you are not alone in this.

After the boudoir shoot, I felt powerful, strong, and beautiful. Feelings I wouldn’t dare to imagine feeling after my preventative surgeries. The lingerie helped me find my femininity that’s been there all along. It truly made me feel so empowered and proud of how far I have come. I have to say, I don’t think the shoot would have gone as great as it did without Graciela Valdes, my photographer. Her curiosity and ability to make feel comfortable helped ease my anxiety throughout the shoot. She has a true talent in making her clients embrace their sexiness, all while making sure they are relaxed and having a great time.

Graciela understood my apprehension of doing the boudoir shoot. I had this feeling that if I were to wait a little longer I’d have time to look better. That somehow my scars would have looked a less apparent and that I would be sexier.

However, Graciela said there is never a perfect time to do a shoot because we always feel that if we wait a little longer we’ll somehow look better. But the truth is, we are ALREADY perfect the way we are! Instead of waiting around, we should all be indefatigable women. Ready to take on whatever may come our way.

My bosom buddy, Jessica, was also with me during the boudoir photo shoot. She helped me put my nipples on and also helped calm my nerves and focus on looking sexy throughout the shoot. Without her, I don’t think I would have been able to breathe and feel as comfortable as I did. Her support made a HUGE difference and I’m so grateful that we shared such a beautiful moment. One that I’m sure we will both cherish throughout our friendship. Not only because it was a bonding moment, but because as a Previvor herself, Jessica found my photo shoot inspirational.

She knows the struggles we go through as Previvors. She saw how I embraced my femininity, the obstacles I overcame throughout my journey, and how huge this moment was for BRCAStrong.

The photo shoot helped her reflect on the trials that everyone as a Previvor endures and the risks that no one talks about. She was stunned at how confident, strong, and beautiful I was during the photo shoot.

It was a moving moment for her. One that she (and I) hopes she can evoke someday. The inspiration my photo shoot gave her is how I hope to inspire other Previvors. I want other Previvors to see my strength and reach a level of confidence that they think they don’t have. I want you all to know that you are strong, powerful, beautiful women and I encourage you all to take part in a boudoir photo shoot like mine. It will help you feel more confident and comfortable in your own skin.

I had fears before doing this photo shoot but did it anyway. The writing on my body made me feel so powerful and the words that in some way or another defined my journey. Words that stood out to me daily. Embracing my femininity throughout the shoot made me feel sexy and Undefeatable, like the pink warrior I am with my soul on fire.

My brca2gene started the fight but I am going to finish it.